Starlight
by MsBooknerd1
Summary: Hello! This is John Smith. This is what I think about the girl, who visits me in my dreams. A perfect Rose.


**Hello! This is something I thought of while I was swimming in the sea. It's about John Smith, when he's drawing Rose, and writing about her. You see, I've read a transcript of "The Journal of Impossible Things", so I know what it says on her pages.**

**Beta'd by Cooper-Gwen. Thank You!  
**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Doctor Who-universe. BBC does. Not me. Believe me, you would notice if that wasn't the case.**

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John Smith woke up every morning from wonderful dreams.

When he wrote them down, he drew the faces of nine men, giant pepper pots, metal men and a little blue box, which was bigger on the inside. But the clearest of them all was a girl.

A wonderful girl, who seemed to be just out of his grasp. She seemed to unwillingly disappear when he reached for her. Rose, her name was. So he tried to draw perfect roses, but all the time the roses missed something. Something vital.

So instead he drew her portrait. Since she was a perfect Rose, he carefully did every line with a light hand, making no mistakes, never splattering paint on her picture, making sure he got her tone of skin and hair right. He knew that her colours were pink and yellow, but unfortunately he could not find these sort of pens. So he had had to settle for ink.

And when he woke up from his dreams, he wrote about her. He wrote about how he could not find her anywhere, and how she was so perfect. A Perfect Rose. She was the Doctor's star, he knew that. She was the reason he kept fighting.

So he tried to, in memory of this Rose, make everything about her portrait perfect. He didn't succeed. Because trying to draw her the way she really was, was like trying to paint a star. No colours could ever catch the beauty and the sparkling _life_ of a star. This was exactly the case with Rose. No one would ever be able to paint her life, her starlight.

But sometimes there were bad dreams. Mostly about a burning world, screams and giant pepper pots, but once in a while there were nightmares about Rose. How she cried, how she screamed as she fell towards a hole in a wall. He could feel the Doctor's rage as he found out that her face had been stolen.

But Rose wasn't always a sparkling star. She was also the sun. She had absorbed the light and was no longer a girl, but a woman. A woman who saved his life, banished terrors and gave life back. The light had shone out from behind her and through her eyes, and she had become a goddess. The woman with the sun had (even when he had kissed the sun out of her) united with the star and had become something in between. She was no longer an innocent star, but she was not the sun either. The two of them had merged, and the result was a star whose light was so bright that it forced the darkness out of him. With her, he was never alone.

So when she had been taken from him, his heart had broke. This scene, this very picture, had haunted John Smith's mind for no more than three days. He woke up, clammy with sweat, and he could remember everything perfectly. This dream showed rain pouring down inside a room (although this was impossible), fire burning in the corners, a giant spider crying for help, a terrified bride, and the Doctor. He just wanted to die, to escape the never ending pain...

And he had been stopped. Good. He needed someone to stop him.

Sometimes a beautiful lady dressed in black pointed at him. She tried to find the Doctor's name. It didn't work. So when she used Rose's name, he had not been weakened, but strengthened by it. And whenever John Smith dreamt about Rose, he would wake up happy.

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John Smith had opened the watch and was once again the Doctor. And when he asked Joan if she wanted to "try", he didn't mean it. Because everything that John Smith had thought and written about Rose was true. And he was in fact grateful to John Smith for having written and thought those things, because he could never admit them to himself. So whenever he tried to describe Rose to himself after that, he used many words which John Smith had used. Because what he had written had so accurately caught the nature of Rose. Later, when the Doctor was once again on the TARDIS, he went into his room and wrote down every word which John Smith had used. But this time, the journal was not called "The Journal of Impossible Things", but instead:

_Starlight._

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**How was it? I think that this was one of my better ones, and I'm very careful not to use the word "love". That word just doesn't cover it. Besides, neither the Doctor nor John Smith would ever use that word when it comes to Rose.**

**Anyway, the most important question: was it In Character (IC)? I hope so. I really, really do. Tell me in the reviews! (Really, do. I know my writing sucks, so tell me how to improve it. Review. It's a little blue button right underneath where you're reading. Just click it. One tiny little click. _Just click it!)_**

**Thank You!**

**/MsBooknerd1**


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